My Belle

We spent all of labor day running around the town, having so much fun. That night we didn't get back until late and when we did there was frantic barking in my backyard. Andrew went out to tell the dogs to stop. When he did he could find Maggie; but not Belle. He turned on the porch light and found our Belle.
Something had attacked her, and she had not made it. I am filled with guilt, we spent our day having fun, and she spent her day suffering.
I don't know when it happened, what did it, or how long she suffered. All I know is that Maggie is fine, in fact she doesn't even seem stressed about it.
We have been having a hard time with this. Luckily Paige isn't full of questions, I am not sure what I would do if I knew she was hurting too.

What I Should Have Done

I am introspective today. I can't help but question my life. Sometimes I think that my priorities are right on where they should be and then there are the days that I know there is something wrong.
Today there is something wrong. I am filled with regret and I am hurt that I choose to act the way that I have. And yet I did, I knew what the consequences could have been and yet I did what I did (or didn't do what I should have, as the case is today).
Gone on walks.
Thrown a ball around.
Played tug of war.
Given you table scraps.
Ran together.
Played together.
Just plain given affection.
Now I have missed all of those opportunities, and instead I am stuck thinking how you last few months have been. How hard it must have been for you. I didn't love you and you knew that. You didn't deserve to be treated the way that you were. I hope that you know we are remorseful now. And that I plan to learn from my mistakes.
I am sorry. I will never treat another living thing the way that I treated you.
We were supposed to be friends.
I was a far thing from that.
I understand why you left us.
Again,
I am so sorry.