Starting New

I should also exclaim from the top of the mountains that on Sunday this woman is moving out. And that soon, I will be free... to shower when I want, do laundry when I want, spend each day with my kids how I want to.

Beyond that, in just an hour and thirty minutes I will no longer be in charge of her son.

Hallelujah!!!

Prune Juice Explained

I know that in my last post I was a little more than crazy. And a little more than just upset. There was a reason behind it.

Back at the beginning of September I made the mistake of letting a woman I barely know come and stay with us. Beyond that I agreed to do her daycare while she went to work each day. With the promise that the state could pay for the care that I was giving.

As my last post clearly shows, things did not go well.

Communication broke down. People were taken advantage of. In the most compact sense no one was comfortable with the situation. And I for one wanted it to end.

To cope I had started to complain , with funny statements, on Facebook (well, maybe not all of them were funny). Things like...

"Sarah is ready to pull her hair out!!"

"Sarah is is not sure that we made the right choice... changes might happen again... "

"Sarah is ready to have her house back... anyone want an extended house guest??? Feel free to ask, She will share them...."

"Sarah is counting down.... only 7 weeks till my house is back to normal!"

"Sarah is READY TO YELL AT THIS WOMAN... WHAT RIGHT DOES SHE HAVE TO ACT THIS WAY.... IT IS MY HOUSE!!!! MINE!!!"

"Sarah is ready for 6 weeks to pass!"

"Sarah thinks she might be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!"

"Sarah says it might have been just gas... "

"Sarah is ready to just kick her out.... if only everyone else was..."

My sharing in a public format upset one of the college students from my church. Because I have youth that have access to my page as well. But they are not really my youth.

I am a youth pastor's wife. It is my job to be real and a friend to these kids. Yes I need to be an example, but I had endured a month of this woman in my house before I started posting my feelings or sharing them with anyone at all.

To be honest, How to Make Prune Juice is the response to the email that I received but that I don't have the guts to send. I wish I could send it, at least part of me does.

But, if I did have the guts I am pretty sure that this woman would never "get off her high horse" even just to say hi to me again. And I did at one point want to be her friend. Now I think I am just hopping for a nod of the head.

So instead of going to her... I came here. I just pray that even though I am sharing it here and posting it for the world to see that she does not stumble across it and hate me forever.

How to Make Prune Juice

Do you understand that I am not only questioning my decision in letting her stay with me, but my abilities as a parent. This child hates me, he will not play with me, runs away when I speak to him, hits things. He is constantly bullying my daughters. Do you understand that I am editing myself before I just post a new status. That I do think about how things sound before I just put them out there. And yet I am at my whits end. I have no idea how to live my life and still be walked all over by this woman.

I feel like it is not a bad thing for the youth to see what I am going through. That this decision effects me in every aspect of my life. Including how I interact with them as youth. So before you sit on a high horse, maybe you should stop and understand what it means when you let someone stay in your small 2 bedroom house when you already have 2 children of your own. And are surrounded by them 24 hours a day.

If I have done anything unacceptable it was letting her move in with me in the first place or unloading all of the garbage that I am going through on you without being asking me to.

By the way, when SHE ASKED ME if she could move in, it was short term... she had said that there was a new shelter opening a week after her time was up at the mission and that she would be trying to move in there.... that has obviously not happened... she has now lived with me for 2 months.

Am I wrong to be annoyed. No, am I wrong to share my problems with everyone... my question for you is if it is better to not say anything here and yell at her for every inconvenience she has put upon me. This way I share with the multiple people who want to know how life is going in my super full house. And I don't explode over every problem she has created in my house where I live and my house where I work.