My girls and I had a weekend by ourselves. It was a fun time. We did all the things that you want to do but never stop and do together. The first night we did manicures and pedicures while we watched a girly movie. Saturday we took our time getting ready then hit the town running. There was shopping to be done. What a blast we had at the mall. We headed back home for some down time then woke up in time to watch Miss America. It was Paige's first time and she loved it. Elizabeth kept getting up and dancing to the music, but Paige sat right by me admired the women. It was so fun.
After the pageant, I told the girls that they should go and have some play time while I got some work around the house done. That really wasn't going well and after just a few minutes of good play time Elizabeth started screaming. It seemed to never end. After about an hour of the off and on screaming I told them 10 more minutes and it would be bed time.
Paige appently didn't like that idea; she took Elizabeth by the hand into their bedroom and as she closed her door behind them I heard her say, "Elizabeth, let's have a talk."
I wanted to follow them to hear what Paige would say, but I thought that would mess whatever they did up. So I stayed in the kitchen. They were in their for 10 minutes and by the time that they came out they were ready to play. There was no more whining or screaming. They stayed up for an hour more at least.
I am glad that I gave them that space to workout the issues that they were having. But at the same time I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in the room. I wish I would have thought of sitting on the toilet and listening in.
I guess it was good for me though. There will be times that I want to know what they are saying, but listening in is not how I want to know. I want them to come to me and tell me. That moment was the highlight of my weekend, they really do work together well.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
The Tooth Fairy
We will be visiting with the tooth fairy often this year. The tooth fairy came to our house on Tuesday night and Paige already has another loose tooth! Now, we will need to be keeping some cash in the house, because for the next few months she will be loosing one tooth after another. It just seems crazy.
She is my little four year old girl and before my eyes she is getting bigger and bigger. I guess with me seeing her get bigger she can start to get some big girl chores too. She has already started to take showers instead of baths with Elizabeth. And rides in a booster seat instead of a toddler car seat. She sleeps on the top bunk of their bunk beds. And yet she has found a way to keep me doing everything for her.
The one thing I will not be changing on is nap time. I will still get down time each day, even if she isn't sleeping.
She is my little four year old girl and before my eyes she is getting bigger and bigger. I guess with me seeing her get bigger she can start to get some big girl chores too. She has already started to take showers instead of baths with Elizabeth. And rides in a booster seat instead of a toddler car seat. She sleeps on the top bunk of their bunk beds. And yet she has found a way to keep me doing everything for her.
The one thing I will not be changing on is nap time. I will still get down time each day, even if she isn't sleeping.
I Gotta Go Potty
Yesterday at the dinner table, Paige made a normal announcement. Sitting sweetly in her chair, Paige said "I gotta go potty!" then waits to be excused. After that, she runs down the hall and stood with her back to the door. Then the she says the funny part, "Don't laugh if you hear me fart in the bathroom." She opens the door and goes in the bathroom. After all her business was finished Paige came back to the door and said, "Good, I didn't fart!" Then she sat back down and ate her dinner.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
All is Forgiven
It is amazing what a day can do. By the end of Sunday, I was no longer feeling as though he had no idea of what life was like last week. I wish that I can take back my complaints, but I already shared them with the world.
It isn't that my husband is not a helpful man. It took just having some time for him to be helpful. So I want all to know that my rants are no longer needed, for we just had our regular weekend together and all is forgiven. He was more than helpful, he was doting, without me needing to say a word. I have no business complaining, if we didn't let ourselves get so overextended we would not have those days when there is just no time for anything more than work and sleep.
It isn't that my husband is not a helpful man. It took just having some time for him to be helpful. So I want all to know that my rants are no longer needed, for we just had our regular weekend together and all is forgiven. He was more than helpful, he was doting, without me needing to say a word. I have no business complaining, if we didn't let ourselves get so overextended we would not have those days when there is just no time for anything more than work and sleep.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
DownTime
This is my disclaimer... This is between you (the reader) and me, please you extreme caution as to not share these thoughts with my husband.... I will in good time.... or my head will clear and I won't feel this way....
I am angry, well mostly frustrated. Andrew wanted to go out tonight, with his friend. He always says I can say no if I need/want him to stay home and he did ask me if it was okay, but I know full well that he wants some time off. And he does need it, he has a busy life with very little down time. But I didn't know his plans when he asked me and I try to just let him do what he wants.
But the problem is that he has had a busy week, with little family time. Andrew worked an extra shift on Monday then went straight to church meeting and then went to bed. No time with the girls, no time with me and NO TIME HELPING ME!
Tuesday he worked a LONG shift then went to the church for his hours there. We did have this evening together.
He went out on Wednesday for some guy time right after work. This lunch might have been for youth group too, but it was just him and the guys. Then he had to help his mom with a flat tire for 2 hours. After that it was time for youth, then bed.
On Thursday, he drove his normal routes then went back to the church. Paige told us about her loose tooth; then we had to take Elizabeth to the doctor and had a argument about that. After that we had to go to the store (well more than one and it was stressful, two kids no naps enough said). Then later that evening, he spent an hour on the phone instead of helping me get the girls ready for bed and helping me take care of the house.
Friday we went out to his parents house after work, but just for him to help his dad in the garage. The girls liked the trip, but we were pressured to spend the night or have the kids spend the night, I hate that! It is even worse because I am waiting for Paige to loose her tooth. We spent time in the car with him, but that was it for Friday.
Today he went to work and took extra long coming home, then we had to run some errands. We just got home when it was time for him to go out. Leaving me with making dinner and putting the girls to bed by myself. There is a full dishwasher and a sink full of dishes following that one; then a mountain of laundry is on my couch waiting to be folded. To make matters worse all week long he has been asking me if Paige has socks in her dresser and I have been telling him that she doesn't. Can't he SEE that the mountain on the couch is growing and not shrinking. Beyond that it is ONLY my job to do the dishes and the laundry and to sweep and to mop and to pick up and to watch the girls 6 days a week.
I feel like it has been me and the girls and the house all week long and now HE NEEDS down time. But I am doing what I do EVERYDAY, all the time. And he is out seeing a movie that I want to see. It makes me even madder that money is tight and I would have NEVER suggested going out to a movie this week!!
It just makes me angry, I haven't had a girls night since I had Paige. I don't even know or have girls close enough for one AND HE NEEDS DOWN TIME!
Thank you for reading, but please know this is the ranting of a crazed woman, ready for some time of her own.
maybe I will be sick tomorrow!
I am angry, well mostly frustrated. Andrew wanted to go out tonight, with his friend. He always says I can say no if I need/want him to stay home and he did ask me if it was okay, but I know full well that he wants some time off. And he does need it, he has a busy life with very little down time. But I didn't know his plans when he asked me and I try to just let him do what he wants.
But the problem is that he has had a busy week, with little family time. Andrew worked an extra shift on Monday then went straight to church meeting and then went to bed. No time with the girls, no time with me and NO TIME HELPING ME!
Tuesday he worked a LONG shift then went to the church for his hours there. We did have this evening together.
He went out on Wednesday for some guy time right after work. This lunch might have been for youth group too, but it was just him and the guys. Then he had to help his mom with a flat tire for 2 hours. After that it was time for youth, then bed.
On Thursday, he drove his normal routes then went back to the church. Paige told us about her loose tooth; then we had to take Elizabeth to the doctor and had a argument about that. After that we had to go to the store (well more than one and it was stressful, two kids no naps enough said). Then later that evening, he spent an hour on the phone instead of helping me get the girls ready for bed and helping me take care of the house.
Friday we went out to his parents house after work, but just for him to help his dad in the garage. The girls liked the trip, but we were pressured to spend the night or have the kids spend the night, I hate that! It is even worse because I am waiting for Paige to loose her tooth. We spent time in the car with him, but that was it for Friday.
Today he went to work and took extra long coming home, then we had to run some errands. We just got home when it was time for him to go out. Leaving me with making dinner and putting the girls to bed by myself. There is a full dishwasher and a sink full of dishes following that one; then a mountain of laundry is on my couch waiting to be folded. To make matters worse all week long he has been asking me if Paige has socks in her dresser and I have been telling him that she doesn't. Can't he SEE that the mountain on the couch is growing and not shrinking. Beyond that it is ONLY my job to do the dishes and the laundry and to sweep and to mop and to pick up and to watch the girls 6 days a week.
I feel like it has been me and the girls and the house all week long and now HE NEEDS down time. But I am doing what I do EVERYDAY, all the time. And he is out seeing a movie that I want to see. It makes me even madder that money is tight and I would have NEVER suggested going out to a movie this week!!
It just makes me angry, I haven't had a girls night since I had Paige. I don't even know or have girls close enough for one AND HE NEEDS DOWN TIME!
Thank you for reading, but please know this is the ranting of a crazed woman, ready for some time of her own.
maybe I will be sick tomorrow!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Fever...
I seem to have caught a fever. I have been getting it every couple months, since January of 2004. It drives me crazy and for days and weeks on end, it is all I can think about. I am praying that the fever passes quickly and I am able to move on soon. Or I might just go and make a crazy choice. I hate when I just dive in and do things before it is really time. Right now it is not time, so I have no business having these thoughts and feelings. I need to banish them and move forward, but it is so easy to just look back and wish and want and hope and then just do. I just did before and it was great, but things are more complicated now. GRRR! To have things less complicated and be able to just make the choice would be such a joy. But I need to STOP IT and let some more time pass!
Friday, January 2, 2009
The 2009 Letter
Dear Sarah,
It is that time again, when we reflect on last year and make plans for the coming year. You wrote a letter in January 2008 for January 2009, but you lost it. So instead of writing out the letter and loosing it again, You thought it should be a blog. That seems to be the only writing that you are keeping. Do it again for 2011, after you are done reading this.... I mean right now.
This last year was rewarding in many ways. Elizabeth went from being a baby to a toddler this year. What a change you've seen in her; crawling, walking then running and talking. She is a little Ma Ma. Still calls all babies she sees "MaMa," drives you crazy. She knows all her body parts and started to potty train, but not much. Loves to read books and has started to sing songs.
Paige turned 4 this year, had her first rodent pet and moved up to the top bunk. Paige has become a very good big sister. She loves the cats and carries them all the time. She still has her pretend friends though, oh how you would love for Nemo and Birdy to leave. Her favorite game is Duck, Duck, Goose and she has started to teach it to Elizabeth. She has become a little teacher, always trying to get Elizabeth to say something new.
Andrew started a new job, youth pastor. You never knew exactly how much that 10 hour commitment would change how your life works. Not a bad thing though, it has been rewarding (even if you are on the sidelines a lot).
You went from working with the school district to staying at home. This was a good idea. It was hard to never see Andrew and be alone with the girls so much. You miss the extra income, even now after 7 months off.
You let Mark stay with you, what a good thing for the girls. They grew very attached to their uncle. And enjoyed that time with him. You enjoyed that time too. There was built in help, even if it was unpredictable. So nice to call and tell him that we need milk or have him sit with the girls while you picked up Andrew.
In about May, you stopped using credit cards. What a blessing and good decision that was. Now you just need to figure out how to find a little more to pay it down. Remember that the winner of the race was not the hare who ran and took big breaks, but the turtle who kept on plugging away. Just keep at it. Things will get better!
If there was any mistake over the last year, it was the last house guest. What an ungrateful, self-seeking, mean spirited, dishonest woman. You have never been used more and without regard to what we were already doing to help her. Daycare was a good idea, but not for a woman who is staying with you. Some boundaries are needed. Things get to gray when that is how things are set up.
Through this however, you did learn that your house is not too small to have another child. That was good to discover.
Last year your goal was to have a baby sometime in the future. It is still not a goal for 2009, but as you sit at the beginning of this year, the idea of a baby is not upsetting. Hopefully, by the time you are reading this, something has come from these talks. But if not remember that foster care was on your heart just before and after Christmas. Having another baby does not have to happen right now! Did you ever call and get more information on how foster care works?? You kept putting it off. Could that be how you serve? Will that fill your heart? Pray about it again.
Goals for 2009
Getting everyone to Matt and Tina's Wedding
Quiet time
Pay down debt
Make "work outs" happen
Potty train Elizabeth
Preschool time every weekday
Keep house under control
Write a letter for January 2011
It is that time again, when we reflect on last year and make plans for the coming year. You wrote a letter in January 2008 for January 2009, but you lost it. So instead of writing out the letter and loosing it again, You thought it should be a blog. That seems to be the only writing that you are keeping. Do it again for 2011, after you are done reading this.... I mean right now.
This last year was rewarding in many ways. Elizabeth went from being a baby to a toddler this year. What a change you've seen in her; crawling, walking then running and talking. She is a little Ma Ma. Still calls all babies she sees "MaMa," drives you crazy. She knows all her body parts and started to potty train, but not much. Loves to read books and has started to sing songs.
Paige turned 4 this year, had her first rodent pet and moved up to the top bunk. Paige has become a very good big sister. She loves the cats and carries them all the time. She still has her pretend friends though, oh how you would love for Nemo and Birdy to leave. Her favorite game is Duck, Duck, Goose and she has started to teach it to Elizabeth. She has become a little teacher, always trying to get Elizabeth to say something new.
Andrew started a new job, youth pastor. You never knew exactly how much that 10 hour commitment would change how your life works. Not a bad thing though, it has been rewarding (even if you are on the sidelines a lot).
You went from working with the school district to staying at home. This was a good idea. It was hard to never see Andrew and be alone with the girls so much. You miss the extra income, even now after 7 months off.
You let Mark stay with you, what a good thing for the girls. They grew very attached to their uncle. And enjoyed that time with him. You enjoyed that time too. There was built in help, even if it was unpredictable. So nice to call and tell him that we need milk or have him sit with the girls while you picked up Andrew.
In about May, you stopped using credit cards. What a blessing and good decision that was. Now you just need to figure out how to find a little more to pay it down. Remember that the winner of the race was not the hare who ran and took big breaks, but the turtle who kept on plugging away. Just keep at it. Things will get better!
If there was any mistake over the last year, it was the last house guest. What an ungrateful, self-seeking, mean spirited, dishonest woman. You have never been used more and without regard to what we were already doing to help her. Daycare was a good idea, but not for a woman who is staying with you. Some boundaries are needed. Things get to gray when that is how things are set up.
Through this however, you did learn that your house is not too small to have another child. That was good to discover.
Last year your goal was to have a baby sometime in the future. It is still not a goal for 2009, but as you sit at the beginning of this year, the idea of a baby is not upsetting. Hopefully, by the time you are reading this, something has come from these talks. But if not remember that foster care was on your heart just before and after Christmas. Having another baby does not have to happen right now! Did you ever call and get more information on how foster care works?? You kept putting it off. Could that be how you serve? Will that fill your heart? Pray about it again.
Goals for 2009
Getting everyone to Matt and Tina's Wedding
Quiet time
Pay down debt
Make "work outs" happen
Potty train Elizabeth
Preschool time every weekday
Keep house under control
Write a letter for January 2011
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